Remapping

After having lunch this afternoon, a good friend asked me what would be a good age to reach one’s personal goal. Meaning if I set realizable goals and dreams for myself, how old would I expect myself to be by that time.

I told her that I plan on getting a few things done before I turn 30.

Why 30?

30 years old is an age that I think is somewhat feasible for goals I have set for myself. By that age, I won’t be too young to lack maturity, and I also won’t be too old to be too late.

And then I remember, around 2 years ago, I wrote a blog entry on how I planned to live my life for the next 8 years. Two years after writing that, I immediately looked it up and read it.

In that blog entry I laid out different things. First I wrote about accepting the difficulty of my current situation. Next is I wrote about alternative paths. Then I zeroed in on specifics on what I want or what I can actually do to reach my goals. And finally I even set a time limit: I gave myself 8 years.

So now what I’d be doing is I’ll be addressing each point I wrote so I can realize where am I right now in my life.

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First I would have to accept the fact that I am not going to graduate on time. Whatever happens, pass or fail, I would not try anymore to fast forward my academic life. I will be doing things my pace while adhering to the maximum residency rule of the university (maximum time you can stay in UP = [years of academic program] + [years of academic program]/2 ). If I pass most of my subjects this semester, I’d only be taking an extra semester, if not, an extra year. Consequently, I won’t be taking up summer classes next summer. I’d be taking that time to finally take a break that I truly deserve. After all that hype before and after shifting, I think it would be time for me to sit down for a while, regroup, and recharge. Maybe I could even do some part-time work.

Do you know what’s surprising? Even if I was already surrendering two years ago telling myself, “no BA, accept it, you won’t graduate on time,” I have a high chance of graduating April next year. Four summers I toiled and took classes instead of vacations (yes I didn’t follow my own road map). Also for a few semesters I almost maximized my allowable units. The result? I have 13 units (plus PE and CWTS) left for the next semester. That means I can actually take up an extra subject!

Second, I would have to find alternative laboratories that I could do research in for my future thesis. Let’s face it, competition in the laboratories in National Institute of Physics is tough (in the Instrumentation Physics lab for example, out of 27 applicants they would only be accepting 13). So, I would be needing a back up plan if ever I don’t get in one. Surely, there are other laboratories around in the Philippines and it’s possible that I could do some research in them for my future thesis. I would just need to find out where these are and whom I could contact. And also, this is the hard part, I would need to find a thesis adviser who would take me in whatever academic state I’m in and wherever lab I’m from. Research areas I’m thinking of include meteorology, environmental science research, or possibly even geology.

Do you know what’s surprising again? I got in the Instrumentation Physics Lab. So this part I didn’t have to worry about too much. Unfortunately my current research topic doesn’t deal with the research areas I had interest in. But still, I’m (somewhat) enjoying my stay in the laboratory.

Coincidentally, an offer came up this afternoon concerning a new and different research topic of interest. I’ll be looking more into it tomorrow.

Third, I would take up a graduate course in any of these three fields: meteorology, environmental science, or geology. Yes, those are the three fields I mentioned in the previous paragraph. Why do I want to get into one of them, you ask? Because in the future, I really don’t want to be stuck in a jail cell more commonly referred to as an office cubicle. I want to go out in the world and explore, to learn things first hand. I want my job to be something that entails travel and field work and discovering and working with other people. And of course, having an Applied Physics degree would I guess be very much helpful in those fields.

Yes. This still holds. I kept on mentioning that I won’t be kept in a box, and that’s because I want to explore the world. I can’t learn about the world by bolstering myself inside an office.

I will learn about the world by plunging myself into the world.

Actually I have already zeroed in on what graduate course I’d be taking. God please let this be the right choice.

Fourth, if God and the Jesuits permit, I would get a job as a Physics teacher in the Ateneo de Manila High School. While taking up one of the Master’s courses that I have mentioned, I guess it wouldn’t hurt to be earning a few extra cash while teaching kids the hardest subject in their fourth year lives in the process. There is a lack of Physics teachers (or just teachers for that matter) in high schools and I guess it wouldn’t be bad to help out for a while in one school until I finish my Master’s degree.

Actually I forgot about this part. For a year I was really bent on wanting to be a teacher in the Ateneo High School. I even told my past teachers in the Ateneo about it (and they even said they’d already be writing recommendation forms for me). But then now I’m not so sure if I can actually stay in such an institution.

I have new principles and beliefs right now, and I’m not really sure if I would be passing on the right lessons to these Catholic school boys.

Also, I noticed that these kids are becoming richer and richer and at the same time brattier and brattier, so, I’m not really sure. Hahaha.

Finally, if things work out the way I planned them to be, I want to settle down when I reach 28. Yeap, have a family and all that chorva. When I was a kid what I wanted to do was to get rich first, and then get married when I already have a lot of money. But with the recent hard times, if I’d continue with that in mind, I might end up settling down after I turn 50. Hahahaha. But seriously, rich or poor, as long as I have a stable source of income, by 28 I hope I’d already be starting a family.

With regards to this goal, I just realized that if I’d be getting a PhD, I’d be getting it in around 6 or more years from now. So by the time I turn 28, I’ll just be fresh out of grad school. But yes, I think it’s still achievable.

After a few conversations with some friends I have actually made peace with not being ultra-rich in finances as long as I’m ultra-rich in intellect and spirit. What good is money, when you’re not happy right?

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So that’s where I am right now.

With this entry I was able to disprove and prove myself at the same time. Also a few plans from the blue-print are getting ready to be set on concrete. And finally, I have realized that I have 6 fucking years left before I turn 28.

Would I still be keeping my goal of 28 years old?

Oh God help me.